Could I have a bipolar disorder?
Written on October 26, 2009 – 10:12 am | by Drug Abuse Help
I’m not sure whether my mood swings are supposed to be this extreme. Some days I am so full of energy, I talk really fast, laugh a lot, am distracted/can’t focus, and I don’t feel like sleeping. I feel like doing exercise or sports or going out to party. I’ll shop and sometimes spend a bit recklessly.
Other days, I am tired, gloomy, sad and "emo" as my boyfriend calls it. I sometimes have a reason to feel so depressed, sometimes not. Sometimes I feel worthless and alone for no reason at all. During those times, I feel like crying, I have low self-esteem and I hate myself….Thinking of suicide calms me down, but I never consider it too seriously. It’s more like "wouldn’t it be easier if I weren’t around.."
My mood swings occur really fast. In the morning I might be super happy, and then afternoon I suddenly feel tired and hopeless. My boyfriend doesn’t understand what’s going on and I feel like it’s unfair towards him (in his words, I’m happy and then boom, nothing is right).
Honestly, I don’t think I’m depressed because my sad moods are not excessive…I don’t cut myself or abuse drugs/alcohol. Once I was so upset for no reason and I started punching my head (that can’t be normal, come to think of it lol)
All in all, I’m not sure whether or not this is simply normal mood swings that most people have, or if I’m just going through a tough time (I’m thinking of ending my relationship with my boyfriend and I fight with my family a lot). Could it be a minor form of bipolar disorder? Am I overreacting/having teenage feelings of self-importance? I know that I can put things in perspective, and that I’m quite "lucky". I just wish I could be more consistent in my behaviour.
Wow long text. Any advice would be great, thanks.
