Strange reaction during a night out; drinking, drugs, terrified. Compassion greatly appriciated;kinda long:?
Written on July 26, 2009 – 7:53 pm | by Drug Abuse Help
Here is what happened: Yesterday I went out for a good day, I thought I was finnishing my day with a few beers and some tanning. I also bought a six-pack to bring home; unknown to me I had managed to drink several of the six (4 or 5); (I am 28, female, size 8, in fairly good health; if that helps to know?) I had also somehow forgotten to eat during the day and upon getting home I decided to do some pole dancing downstairs (pretty hard excersize really). Still feeling what I thought was fairly well I ended up somehow upset with my finacee and decided to take a walk; I ended up at a local bar drinking vodca martinis (I think I had two or three; I didn’t have or spend much money). Anyway the bar was unusually full of collage kids; someone grabbed at my thong it freaked me out so I went to sit with two guys who looked closer to my age; they bought my last drink and asked if I wanted to get stoned (I quit smoking weed a while ago), but said yes anyway. We didn’t leave sight of the bar (from my foggy recolection and I only took about two hits. upon getting back inside the building I could tell they were trying to close and out of no where I just wigged out; I started crying, I was confused I thought for some reason I had been assulted. . .I had my cell phone but insisted the bartender call my finacee and have him come and get me; he insisted that I had been within his sight the entire time I was there. Upon getting home I made my finacee examine my entire body for any signs of trama, none could be found. I examined my clothing for any weird scents and again nothing (other than the smell of tanning lotion); absolutly no indication what so ever that I had been harmed in any way yet for two hours upon getting home I was terrified with visions of being attacked by multiple guys. Upon waking up I was hardly hung over? And again my body did not feel as though I had come to any harm; so this is where the confusion comes in: What the hell caused the bizzaar reaction to whatever was in that pipe? (I thought it was just weed but maybe something else too?). I do have a history of childhood sex abuse and a few instances of rape since I was an adult (one particularly violent at 18). Is it possible I was thrown into a post-traumatic-stress state causing me to believe I was harmed/going to be harmed? The whole experience was quite frightening and I have been under a lot of stress latley as a new mom (she’s nine months) and married lifestlyle. I am aware that alcohol is a problem for me and I am setting up what I need to do to address that issue (for me the answer is in martial arts; 12 step model programs work for some but not all) -see the agent orange pages before telling me I just havent found the right place please.
I guess I am just wondering what you guys might think have caused such a strange reaction to substances I ordinarly react to without (such) incidence? I greatly appriciate thoughtful and compassionate answers (please just skip me if you are going to say "just don’t drink"; we are hear to help eachother arn’t we)?
Thank You in advace for any insights relative to this incident or constructive non-12 step substance advice. Good Karma to those who help:)
-J.
