The NHS have offended me! I’m probably being ridiculous and oversensitive but still….?
Written on April 22, 2009 – 1:55 am | by Drug Abuse Help
I had my first midwife appointment earlier on this week and she asked me all the routine questions about my medical history and mental health and stuff. Obviously being honest, when she asked if I’d ever taken drugs, I said when I was 16 and in my "naughty rebellious stage" I tried cannabis once which I hated and ecstasy once which again I hated and I haven’t touched anything like that since. She then asked me if I drink and I said no, I didn’t even drink before I got pregnant, I’m basically completely teetotal and have been for years now. Then she asked me if I had ever been depressed or self harmed and I said yes, when I was 16 and hadn’t been/done either since. I am completely sound of mind, teetotal and a very happy person right now and this morning, I got a letter in the post from the midwife saying "thankyou for being so open about your past. here are some leaflets you may find helpful" and enclosed were 2 leaflets, one about "dealing with a drug addiction during pregnancy"- which told me the dangers of taking heroin (?!?!?!?!?!?!) and various other narcotics and one telling me the dangers of drinking during pregnancy!!!! Ok, I know I’m very hormonal and sensitive right now but COME ON! I feel utterly offended! Did she not listen to a word I said?! How patronising, I mean, yeah nice of her that she obviously felt she wanted to help but seriously! Are the NHS normally this patronising? Because when I actually really need their help, they’re imcompetant, rude, uncaring and slppy but when I don’t need "drug abuse advice" I get it shoved down my throat! Anyone else had this? Oh and I’m expecting that some stuck up pretencious idiot will try and lecture me and tell me off for trying drugs ONCE when I was a teenager, all I can say to that is, stop being so narrow minded and ignorant and get off your high horse. THANKS! 
Scott K, I sympathise with you that you’ll never ever understand what it’s like to be pregnant and almost constantly want to bash someone’s skull in, in this instance it’s your skull I want to bash in for being so ignorant and not understanding that yes, I know I am being oversensitive (SEE THE TITLE OF MY EFFING QUESTION YOU BLIND F**K) but pregnant women have to put up with a constant surge of hormones which make them want to cry/shout/scream 1000 times more than they normally would. If you’re going to come in the pregnancy section and tell a pregnant woman how to feel, then at least get some lessons in sensitivity you stupid ignorant c**t.
And yes, Sherry has summed up my feeling PERFECTLY. I’m worrying about what they’ve got down on my medical records now, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m some sort of heroin addict for crying out loud!
Scott_K said:
Apr 22, 09 at 1:59 amThey almost undoubtedly have a legal obligation to provide such things to people who fit their rigid critera in order to curb their legal liability in the event that something were to happen related to drugs/alcohol/self-harm. It’s ridiculously hypersensitive of you to take this so much to heart. She didn’t commit you somewhere, she didn’t force you into counseling, and she didn’t report you to authorities. She sent you a freakin’ pamphlet, and it was probably a legal liability matter. I can’t imagine anything being less a big deal.
Cry more. I’m glad you singled me out for a lashing. Christ.
honey said:
Apr 22, 09 at 2:33 amDon’t be offended…use your energy for more positive things!
They probably have to cover themselves in case any of their clients later blamed them for not advising them appropriately. It won’t be personal. pregnancy is a stressful time….there would be people that revert to using those types of stress relief at times like that….stupid as it may be.
Count yourself lucky that you know better….and just enjoy your pregnancy.
gelfling said:
Apr 22, 09 at 4:20 amThey’re probably required to send those pamphlets out to anyone who admits past drug use (and maybe also to those who don’t), for liability reasons. They’re looking out for your baby, which you should appreciate.
Put them in an envelope and mail them back with a note that says, "As I already told you, I am not a drug user OR a drinker, so these pamphlets are of no use to me. Please pass them along to someone who needs them. Thanks."
jesskarules said:
Apr 22, 09 at 6:36 ami have my first midwife/OB appointment this wednesday,and im scared sh*tless of telling them about how i have depression & anxiety, which are mental illnesses, im scared they are going to judge me and give me pamphlets etc.. aswell, although i probably do need some pregnancy counselling to help me through this with my depression & anxiety, i dont want to be judged because of this and think that i cant love or be there for my child, i will still love and care for my child even though i have some mental illness, and im feeling like they will want me to adopt coz of it, i know it might sound crazy, but im not sure how they will react to it.
If i get judged or hounded for my mental illnesses when pregnant, i will find a new OB/midwife, because i will not put up with the crap, having a mental illness doesnt mean im going to be a bad mother, i am in a loving relationship and its going well, so if you can, id try and find a new doctor, or tell this doctor your not happy with the way they are handling this and you want a second opinion (or explain it to her again) and if she doesnt understand say sorry i am finding someone else to see who listens.
ameeran5 said:
Apr 22, 09 at 8:46 amNHS really piss me off at time, grr, don’t take shit from them, just go to the hospital and if you want something to be done your way you fight for that!!!
I’m planning to do something special this bonfire night anyways… heheee
Not_A_Supermum_ said:
Apr 22, 09 at 12:12 pmNo I do think that’s offensive. If you clearly told her that you don’t drink or do drugs now, why would a leaflet on drug addiction during pregnancy be of any use to you?
We all have a past of some sort - you’re more honest than most. I’m not sure what you should, or could do about it - but perhaps mention it to the practice manager at your doctor’s surgery?
Sherry_Babyy said:
Apr 22, 09 at 12:47 pmYou definitely have the right to be offended. I would be too. She obviously didn’t listen to a word you said. And God knows what she wrote down in your record. I’d call them & give them a piece of my mind.
<3
siesteph said:
Apr 22, 09 at 8:14 pmk, well,
she heard you say YES when she asked about using drugs
it don’t matter to her WHEN you used them, just that you did use them
it’s all normal to inform new mommies about all the BAD stuff out there in the world that could harm baby to be if mommy’s not careful
it’s just an education thing that all doctors and nurses have to do (i don’t think they have a choice)
Good Luck
Congratulations
:):)
LauraLorLor said:
Apr 22, 09 at 11:27 pmI imagine that they send the same things to everyone who mentions having tried drugs etc. as a precaution. Don’t take it too much to heart, I’m sure it’s not meant as a personal insult to you.