My friend is a bad mom!?


Written on November 14, 2008 – 2:54 am | by Drug Abuse Help

So a gf of mine regularly used cocaine, cigarettes, and alcohol throughout her whole pregnancy. LUCKILY, her daughter was born healthy. And I also know that her daughters "father" ( who happens to be a friend of mine too) was not the only man she was having sex with when she conceived. The baby’s father has no idea about her repulsive behavior and the other men she slept with because he is in the army and lives far away. He thinks she’s just a great mom, but he doesnt see what I see. Do you think I should tell him he may not be that Dad? Should I tell him about her drug abuse?
I think I’d rather be the "bad guy" than have her daughter be in a car seat while she does her pull-up drug deals.

19 Responses to “My friend is a bad mom!?”

  1. Bunny said:

    Feb 01, 09 at 5:08 am

    If I were you i wouldn’t get involved…as hard as it may be to sit back its best to say nothing, if you interfere you will most likely end up the "bad guy"

    edit:well it seems you made your decision

  2. Aiden_s_Mommy___6_27_08_ said:

    Feb 01, 09 at 6:58 am

    you definately need to say something to him…being the fact that he is a friend of yours. it’s his daughter too, and if that child is in a dangerous situation, he probably would want to know…i know i would. if she keeps living that lifestyle, who knows what kind of danger his daughter would end up in. a true friend will tell you the truth no matter if it hurts or not. he needs to hear it, good luck, and good job on being such a good friend to the guy and to the baby girl.

  3. AMC said:

    Feb 02, 09 at 7:15 am

    The father needs to know so that he can protect that child. The mother has a serous drug problem and needs help.

  4. Ebony_M said:

    Feb 02, 09 at 1:57 pm

    tell her and if she doesnt listen call child surveses sorry but its the truth because i know you dont wana loss a friend but its really for the best also if there is a way to reach the father do it and tell him but secretly

  5. Lic said:

    Feb 03, 09 at 6:48 am

    Definitely about the drugs because this affects the safety of the child but I’m not so sure about the paternity as this may upset him if he loves this child and thinks it’s his own and he may shoot the messenger. Perhaps planting the indea of her infidelity in hi head so he thinks it is his idea would be better.

    Horrible situation you are in - I don’t envy you!

  6. crazymama said:

    Feb 03, 09 at 9:15 am

    You definitely need to tell someone outside of the YA community!! If you trust that he isn’t gonna go nuts on you and then run to her and she’ll just tell him that you’re lying to him, then go for it. Are her parents around? Maybe you could talk to them. I do think it’s a danger for the baby to be involved in this and living in such an environment. Maybe contact your local social service dept to see what can be done to help the innocent infant? The mother needs help something awful, but the baby needs it more. Is the dad stable enough to fight for the baby and leave the mom and gain custody? I think he would have more than enough to work with.

    I don’t know that I would tell him about not being the dad as you don’t really know for sure who she was with when and if she used protection with the other guy but not her bf.

    One other thing….I would over-look every response saying to "stay out of it", "it doesn’t concern you", "friends don’t rat each other out", etc. Your "friend" made this your concern and brought you into it when she let you know all the details of her life-style. The main concern is the child’s safety, and I don’t understand why more people can’t see that.

    Good luck and best wishes!

  7. BlessedWithTwins said:

    Feb 03, 09 at 10:44 am

    You need to call CPS. All calls to them are strictly confidential. I would also tell the baby’s Dad and tell him you are calling CPS on his baby’s Mom. This is wrong and it would be morally repugnant of you to sit back and not say anything while an innocent and sweet baby suffers.

  8. mommyof3_1 said:

    Feb 03, 09 at 5:27 pm

    Yes you should of told him of the drug abuse during her pregnancy!!! DUH! IF you know someone is using drugs while pg then you should of told everyone you knew could help!! The dad should know of the abuse and he could try to do something about the safety of the baby. IF she freaks and wants to keep the baby away from him, she will tell him he may not be the dad and you won’t have to!

  9. mama said:

    Feb 03, 09 at 11:13 pm

    No, it’s not your place to tell him anything.Anyway, I’m sure he knows.

    However, if your friend is doing this and putting the child in danger then it is your moral obligation to report her to the proper authorities. The only one that matters in this drama iS THAT INNOCENT BABY AND YOU ARE NOW THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS WELFARE.

  10. Shareka_L said:

    Feb 04, 09 at 1:03 am

    yes you should tell him he deserves to know

  11. Cindy_T said:

    Feb 04, 09 at 4:36 am

    i thought you said she was your friend. a friend doesn’t rat a friend would talk to her friend and show her disapproval and help her if she has a problem. i believe we are all born knowing right from wrong but if no one is around to help us make right decisions it makes it easier to make wrong ones. talk to your FRIEND and let her make the decision to tell the maybe daddy that he might not be. and it’s cool to party, but on your own time, not when your with child. but it is never cool to do coke, it serves no purpose…nothing good will come from it.

  12. tracey said:

    Feb 04, 09 at 10:30 am

    I think definitely tell him about the drug abuse because it is not right for that baby for it’s mother to be doing drugs

  13. louisiana_mommy said:

    Feb 04, 09 at 1:39 pm

    yes you definitely should!

  14. Fckiin_DivA said:

    Feb 05, 09 at 1:07 am

    YEAH

  15. Oh_great_1 said:

    Feb 05, 09 at 4:43 am

    If her lifestyle is endangering her child and she is neglecting to care for her child then you absolutely must get involved for the sake of that innocent child to do otherwise could be a disasterous decision. I wouldn’t rely on the father to do right by the child if it is not his, I would consult the proper authorities, welfare, family members and the father , but don’t, do nothing as that would make you another person in that child’s life that has neglected them. Don’t wait, act now.

  16. Airey said:

    Feb 05, 09 at 9:09 am

    Yes you should say something- if nothing else than about her drug abuse. Even if the baby was born healthy her drug use is a danger to its continued health- not to mention your friends health.

  17. dorikate said:

    Feb 06, 09 at 10:32 am

    Stay out of it, it doesn’t concern you.

  18. Tasha said:

    Feb 06, 09 at 8:09 pm

    You need to tell him or someone because i dont want to see that little girl go thru this stuff.

  19. taximomuv3 said:

    Feb 06, 09 at 8:41 pm

    If you were so concerned about her baby, then why didn’t you say something while she was pregnant and you had the opportunity to STOP anything from happening?? It sounds like you have an axe to grind with her for whatever reason and are using this "information" to get even with her. This is none of your business unless she is using drugs in the presence of the child NOW. As for the paternity of the baby you have no proof who the father is, so leave it alone & stay out of it.

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