I am just found out that I am pregnant by abusive ex boyfriend, is abortion wrong?
Written on February 26, 2009 – 10:10 pm | by Drug Abuse Help
I am struggling to come to the right decision about weather keep this pregnancy or not. I have been in a abusive relationship and finally I was able to get away from him… I do not want this man to be involved in my life or my childs life. I just think that to bring a child into a enviroment that is abusive and toxic would be wrong….He uses and abuses drugs and alcohol and has no remorse for bad things that he does on top of his severe anger issues… I do not have a strong support system and I would struggle to provide for this baby and myself being alone. As much as I want to have a family- I think it would be wrong under these circumstances? Any Advice? Please no negative answers- I am a good person in a bad situation
S_A said:
Feb 26, 09 at 1:57 amIt’s not wrong. But consider Adoption?
sno_bunnyg said:
Feb 26, 09 at 2:03 amThats a very hard hard decision. I have a 5 year old son who was the result of a very bad man. He drank did drugs and abused the crap out of me all the time, i finally left and when i left i found out i was pregnant, I was scared and alone and i was stupid to call him and tell him. he said he would change and so i went back to him. i wish i would have kept the whole thing a secret and never told him because i went back and he beat the crap out of me constantly and it started after i had the baby, he never abused me while pregnant thank god. I am now with someone whom i love very much and loves my son very much as well. The decision to have an abortion is CLEARLY up to you. I had an abortion at 17 and I have regretted it my entire life, especially now that i have kids I wonder what that child would have been like. I believe abortion is a choice for the mother but after going through it once I strongly recomend not going through with one, its a life changing decision. You are a strong woman weather you want to tell yourself that or not, and You can make a better life for you and your baby and not struggle, its all about the choices you make. I would do some research into abortion and see pictures and hear stories of what other women have gone through and see if its still something you could handle for the rest of your life. I REGRET it so so very much and I would hate to advise someone to get one. I think you could go through with this pregnancy, you could be a strong mother and you dont need that A55HOLE in your life to raise your baby brilliantly. I wish you all the best of luck and I hope that whatever decision you make you make it 100% and that you find strength in yourself. My prayers are with you I know this has to be very difficult.
mommyinMay said:
Feb 26, 09 at 5:16 amLooking at a question that you posted awhile ago about a ex bf that was abusive, I hope that this isnt the same guy and if it is you shouldnt have gone back to him, and if it a different guy you need to pick better men.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj1g76.IKf64lsAF1jvHzyPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080609062836AA0o0LV
peachy_hez said:
Feb 26, 09 at 6:12 amIt’s not wrong. That’s my opinion, and you should formulate your own. You’re going to have to deal with it.
Suzy82 said:
Feb 26, 09 at 6:41 amyou aborting your baby is not the way to go i dont think him being abusive is a good enough reason im sorry there are ways of getting around things,,,,, imagine how abusive he could be towards you if he found out you aborted his kid
wink86 said:
Feb 26, 09 at 6:41 amI know of someone very close to me that went through the exact situation. She finally got away from this a$$hole with police protection and a restraining order and then she found out she was pregnant. She did go through with an abortion. She said it was the hardest thing she went through but it was something she needed to do. I am not saying that this was right or if it was wrong. But this is a life changing decision that no one here in Y!A can decide for you. Talk to someone close to you about what is going on. You will need support no matter what you come to. Good luck.
Leilany_s_mommy__9_24_08_ said:
Feb 26, 09 at 11:35 ami didn’t read your details but from your question..
its not your baby’s fault that you allowed yourself to be in an abusive relationship.
he or she or anyone chose that trash wanna be man for you…
a baby is a wonderful blessing. He or she don’t deserve to die because you THINK you cant make it through this or you failed to find the right person or chose to have sex…
Consider adoption instead. Baby deserves a chance to live…and next time take care and make sure you don’t get into situations you wont be able to handle and think killing a baby is a better decision..
shadowtalker1 said:
Feb 26, 09 at 12:03 pmI’m sorry you’re in this situation, and unfortunately, no one can answer this for you. Given what you’ve written, I’d say yes, abortion may be the ‘best’ alternative in this situation.
But only you can be honest with yourself and truly know if you could do it — go through with the pregnancy, birth, taking care of a baby by yourself, possibly fending off abusive ex, etc.
In the meantime, please get help and support for yourself. Getting out of that situation with your ex is courageous and to be commended — please surround yourself with people who will support you.
DIORFINEST1 said:
Feb 26, 09 at 1:16 pmGETTING AN ABORTION IS NOT WRONG ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT DECISION NOT ME ON NO OTHER YAHOO USER…..IF U FEEL AS THOUGH ITS THE RIGHT THING THEN YOU DO IT. JUST KNOW THAT YOU WONT BE THE FIRST OR THE LAST PERSON TO HAVE ONE DONE AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. ALSO IF YOU NOT READY MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY THEN THAT CAN HARM THE BABY TOO.
thknuvu said:
Feb 26, 09 at 1:44 pmI agree, it IS your decision…
You may think about adoption too…
Dolyn said:
Feb 26, 09 at 1:56 pmIt’s completely your decision what you feel you can or cannot do. I know there are going to be plenty of people on here telling you that you are a horrible person for even thinking it, and that it is a horrible procedure (although I know most haven’t even had one).
If you go to http://www.imnotsorry.net, you’ll read the stories of hundred of women who have been in similar situations and even completely different situations. They all made then choice for themselves, and have no regrets.
I’m not doing thins to push you one way or another. I just think it might help you to read real stories from REAL women who have had the procedure. My story is even up there. Good luck in whatever you decide.
shoogaplumm said:
Feb 26, 09 at 6:04 pmi agree, this is up to you. dont let anybody influence you either way. if you feel like you want the baby, it wouldnt be wrong to keep it but if you feel an abortions what you need to do, then thats what you need to do. make sure you think this out long and hard though! many women who abort their babies regret it.
good luck sweetie.
Michelle_M said:
Feb 26, 09 at 7:46 pmIf you have a good life ahead then i think you should keep the baby. If he doesn’t leave you alone call the cops to take away his drugs, send him to rehab, or get a restarining order. A baby’s life is worth saving. Get a good job get some good friends and get a new boyfriend and have that baby!
cassie said:
Feb 26, 09 at 8:15 pmMy ex-husband was very abusive. I spent years trying to restrict his visitation. However, the court did not consider him a danger because he hurt me, not the child. Every other weekend i send her to this monster with nothing but fear. It’s been going on for ten years. You must make your own decision. I wish you the best. I love my daughter and I am blessed to have her. But, i wish that we both did not have to spend the rest of our lives dealing with him.
Lena said:
Feb 26, 09 at 9:39 pmIt’s your decision and no one elses.
Fallen018 said:
Feb 26, 09 at 10:16 pmDefinately not an easy situation. Honestly your the one thats going to make the final decision…but am going to tell you what no one told me about abortion. Its not easy…you dont get "over it," you will always remember, you will always regrett it no matter WHY you did it. If you dont think you can support the baby give it up for open adoption that way you can still have contact and know about him/her. About the father dont worry get a restraining order and he wont be able to come near you.
pregnancyhealthguru said:
Feb 26, 09 at 10:41 pmI’m sorry to hear about your situation my thoughts are with you. However do not underestimate your worth, you were able to escape him you can have this child if you truly want it. I do not think abortion is wrong in these circumstances but also consider adoption your child can still have a great life. If you do go ahead with the pregnancy I recommend this website to answer any other questions you may have.
http://pregnancy.healthguru.com/?YAFT
Rachel said:
Feb 26, 09 at 11:53 pmabortion is always wrong. it’s murder. You can give the baby up for adoption. there are so many couples that can’t have children and want them very much.