How do you get over an abortion that the doctor suggested..but you now regret and feel was the wrong decision?
Written on October 17, 2009 – 9:27 am | by Drug Abuse Help
My doctor told me he had only delivered TWO cases in my instance, where the babies were born ok. At the time, I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, and shortly afterwards, had to terminate. All the arrows were pointing to bad evidence. I was trying to find EVERYTHING possible to see if I had a chance.
Well–of COURSE–now I find a few things here and there of women in my same instance that might have had a fine baby–they were FINE. I am totally torn up about this as I wanted my baby from the very beginning. For me, an abortion was not because I was too young, not making enough, worried about my "career", etc. I was 22, with a great man (still with him), making more than enough money (not rich), and knew that having a baby was not throwing my education down the drain- as I have seen MANY people continue their education well into their 40s.
I didn’t think I could get pregnant and my guy didn’t think he could get someone pregnant as neither of us conceived with our previous partners. We were happy..but terrified because of medical agents I was consuming (NOT recreational abuse) and pills/vaccines I had been given WHILE actually being pregnant and not knowing.
People say it’s not my fault and that it’s different…but I cannot help to feel just like someone who might have had it for frivolous reasons and then regret it. I feel the same way. I’m not trying to judge any woman who has had to go thru this–I wasn’t in their shoes like others were not in mine. I know about half of all women have had an abortion. So please don’t take this the wrong way.
I just want to know if there are any of you that had an abortion for reasons out of your control or semi-out of your control…and were able to get over it.
I think if I was 14, raped, and on drugs–maybe that would have changed the feelings I have.
But I realllllly wanted this baby from the start. The entire process was horrific from beginning to start. It was also my first pregnancy and it’s 1.5 years later and I am having a hard time letting go.
What makes it harder is that I am a nursing student and learning more about this in depth everyday..it’s triggery seeing babies/embryos, etc. It also hurts to learn more science and find that MAYBE my baby DID have a chance.
At the same time I could have been the 1/4 that miscarried=—but I seriously doubt it…
I want my baby back so bad..I don’t know if that is selfish since he(I always felt the gender was boy) might have carried the risk to be born suffering, etc.
Thanks so much Olivia. Your story was sad…I feel your pain..I think you had it even worse and you seem to have healed. I want to be like you one day.
