Help about talking to my doctor?
Written on July 17, 2009 – 10:40 am | by Drug Abuse Help
I used to be addicted to OxyContin a few years ago.
I stopped using and moved to a new state to try to start life over.
Im bipolar and I have anxiety attacks almost daily.
I started seeing a psychiatrist and was very open with him about everything in my life (including drug abuse and addiction).
I was prescribed some medicine for being bipolar..
He also was going to give me a benzo for anxiety, I didnt want it at first becuase i thought i would abuse it. But the anxiety attacks were getting really bothersome and effecting my everyday life.
He gave me Valium ,.. Thats when it started.
I abused it. I knew it would happen and I was mad at my self for letting it happen. But it was too late to turn back.. At my next appointment I told him the dose wasnt strong enough, He upped my dosage. Next time it wasnt helping me anymore, I got Xanax. After excuse and excuse I had gone through Librium, Ativan, Tranxene, and finally stopped on Klonopin. I came clean and told him i was abusing the meds and I didnt want them anymore. I stopped taking them. Ive been taking Vistaril (an antihistimine) instead.
That was almost 2 years ago. Today I have gone through over a year in drug counseling, I havent done any type of drug sine June 11th 2007. Im doing good in life. I have a good job and I finally feel like im living a life that I can be proud of. But..
Im still bipolar and STILL having anxiety attacks that are getting more and more often. Ive been sucking it up and dealing with them as being "just part of my life" but im sick of it The Vistaril doesnt work anymore..
I really feel that I have been rehabilitated in life and that I WILL NOT abuse medicine. I would like my doctor to let me try a benzo again,But he wont. I would even let him do random pill counts if he wanted to.
I just feel that just because I used to be addicted to drugs and that I used to abuse medicine, I shouldnt have to suffer from something for my whole life just because I did something in the past. Im a different person than I was back then, and he knows it. He’s the one that told me that im different than i used to be and that my life is finally turning out to be a decent one. But I know he wont let me back on them.
What can I do to let him know that I wont do that again? I want him to trust me, and I want to be able to show him that I CAN be trusted. Any body been through this? Or anyone have some advice?
(Sorry about the length of this question, but I just wanted you to understand the whole story.)
mommyme said:
Jul 17, 09 at 5:43 amI think you have to get to the root of your problem with is your anxiety. I had anxiety attacks for years. Please try this program. It really did work. Its call Attacking Anxiety. The web site is http://www.attackinganxiety.com It really did work. It has a workbook and CDs to listen to
lah0288 said:
Jul 17, 09 at 1:37 pmhello there!
well, first I want to say congratulations on taking control of your life and getting the help you needed. I was addicted to oxycontin and every opiate I could get for 3 years and am going through Subutex and Suboxone treatment right now trying to get completely sober. I have never abused benzos, but I have been treated for panic attacks. My doctor prescribed me Celexa to take daily for my anxiety. It is possible for anti-depressants to help with your anxiety. I decided I didn’t want to be on an anti-depressant so I did not take it I just taught myself how to cope with my anxiety but I know that not everyone can do that.
When I went to my doctor as an addict and asked him for the Suboxone treatment, he asked me if I had ever used suboxone that was not prescribed to me in the past. I did not want to tell him that I had because I was afraid he would not prescribe it to me. But, I decided that I needed to be honest and told him that I had never had my own script of suboxone but a friend used to give me some of their and I snorted it every day. So i was addicted to snorting the medicine that was supposed to be dissolved in your mouth and supposed to make you not an addict. After I told him this, I was really afraid he would not trust me with the Suboxone. But he simply said that nothing I said is new to him, he has heard everything. I told him I wanted to do this treatment the RIGHT way, for once in my life and stop using it to get high and start using it help me get off drugs. I begged him for a chance to prove that I wouldn’t abuse it and please help me do the treatment the correct way. He gave me the chance I need and now within the next month I will be completely off of suboxone.
I think you should tell your doctor you want to do things the right way this time and to please give you a chance and trust you. He may not change his mind, but it is worth asking him. And if he does not give you the medicines that work for you or come up with any other medications like Celexa or Pristique, maybe you should consider finding a new doctor? Doctors are going to look out for your best interest, but it doesn’t seem right for them to hold things against you from your past ya know? You deserve a chance to prove you have changed and are respsonsible to do things right. I would be very nervous if I was you to start the benzo’s again, but if you are ready then you are ready. You know yourself better than anyone else knows you. If you don’t get the care you need to stop your panic attacks, seek out a new doctor. That is really your only option, either get a new doctor or try a different kind of drug.
I’m sorry this is so long, I just feel for you and hope everything turns out well. Congrats on the sobriety and good luck!!